There’s no shame in wanting to be a better mom. That doesn’t mean that you’re not already a good mom, it simply means you humbly accept that you’re a work in progress. We all are. We can all do with a little tweaking and improving here and there when it comes to self-development, can’t we?
This article might be a source of inspiration for you, it certainly is for me! In this blog, we’ll take a look at some cool and simple ways that you can improve your motherhood skills to ensure that your little ones (and you) are the happiest that they can be!
How To Be A Better Mom And Wife
Becoming a better mom and wife is such an individual journey because we all have different strengths and different areas to improve on. The best way to begin your journey of self-improvement in this department is by journaling.
Journaling helps you to reveal where your strengths and weaknesses are as a mom and wife. For a start, the two roles are entirely separate and require you to hold different skills.
Perhaps you’re great at communicating with your partner but have been struggling to communicate certain things with your kids. Or perhaps you’re great at giving compliments to your kids and letting them know how adored they are, but you’ve been struggling to admire and communicate your love and respect to your partner.
Your journey as a wife and mother are unique to you. In your journal, here are some things you might want to consider for the different roles you play in your family:
- What are my strengths in this role?
- What are my weaknesses in this role?
- What could I improve on?
- How can I improve on that?
- What do I appreciate about my husband/kids?
- What does my husband need to improve on in our relationship?
- How can my kids improve our relationship?
- What do I enjoy in the relationship?
- What do I not enjoy in the relationship?
- How can I lovingly and compassionately communicate this?
For journaling inspiration you can download my free journaling prompts for moms!
How To Be A Better Parent Without Yelling
As a parent, it’s normal to experience frustration sometimes. We all get short-tempered from time to time. Maybe it’s been a long day and you’re tired or irritable for another reason, but as soon as you snap and yell you experience mom guilt. Yep, we’ve all been there.
So how can you be a great mom who prioritizes your child’s feelings even when you’re stressed?
Take what I call a ‘5er’. Take a step back. The moment you feel yourself getting frustrated let your child know that mommy needs a minute, and come back when you’re in control of your emotions.
When stress is high, you’re in the moment, and your emotions are intense it is easy to resort to yelling but it’s not helpful or constructive for you or your child. You’ll most likely end up hurting your child’s feelings—and you’ll probably end up with instant mom guilt.
In the same way that we encourage our kids to take 5 minutes to calm down, you’re more than entitled to do the same as a mom. Everyone needs a 5er sometimes!
What Makes A Mom A Good Mom?
This is such a unique question but in my opinion, there is a general consensus on what makes a good mom.
These are common qualities that tend to result in effective parenting and happy kids:
- Being nurturing and caring
- Actively and compassionately listening to your child’s feelings and emotions
- Being supportive of your child’s desires and needs
- Prioritizing your child’s wellbeing and safety
- Communicating respectfully
- Ensuring that your child has nutritious food and a safe environment to live in
- Access to education
How To Be A Good Mom When Depressed
It can be hard to look after yourself when you’re depressed, so it’s no easy feat running a household and raising kids too when you’re feeling mentally unwell. If you’re experiencing depression then it’s important to get proper support, not only medical and mental support but also support in looking after your kids.
Being a good mom does not mean trying to juggle it all when you’re struggling. Being a good mom is noticing when you’re struggling and being courageous enough to ask for help—this sets an important example for your kids. They will see that it is ok to be vulnerable and that it is perfectly normal to ask for help and support too.
You may or may not want or need to take medication. It’s a good idea to speak to your local medical health professional to get further advice on your needs and options. Quite often you’ll have access to other helpful resources such as therapy too.
Check out my blog on health and wellness tips for busy moms for self-care inspiration.
And you can also check out my blog on positive affirmations for moms which helps to combat intrusive negative self-talk.
How To Be A Better Mom To Toddler
Self-doubt can start to arise for moms when they have a toddler on their hands. The needs of your child become more complex and it starts to really hit home that you’re shaping a little human.
You’ll start to notice your toddler is developing a deeper level of emotional intelligence, curiosity, and personality. If you’re looking for parenting tips to help you raise a toddler into a confident happy child then here are my parenting hacks.
5 Tips On How To Be A Good Mom
1. Follow Positive Parenting Bloggers
Following positive parenting bloggers can be a great way to learn new parenting skills and get cool inspiration on parenting hacks. There are a million different ways to parent and it’s nice to see what others have learned on their journey of parenting.
Be open-minded to trying different parenting styles that might improve your child’s life. Being open-minded is really beneficial to you both because you might find different parenting styles that work better for your kid, and when your child flourishes you’ll feel like a great mom.
A clinical study in 2019 by Nature Human Behaviour found that positive parenting has been associated with better offspring wellbeing and overall health.² They also found that having a good parent-child relationship and greater relationship satisfaction has a link to a lower risk of poor mental health, eating disorders, drug use, obesity, and better emotional wellbeing.
2. Engage Your Toddler In A Diverse Range Of Kids Activities
Engaging your child in a variety of different kid’s activities helps to keep them stimulated, happy, and developing which is great for their overall wellbeing. If you’re a busy mom then social media and Pinterest can be great places to find new activities for your little ones.
3. Focus On Positive Reinforcement
Positive reinforcement is great for kids. Clinical research by the American Family Physician in 2018 noted that positive reinforcement is an effective parenting strategy to help improve your child’s behavior and encourage desired positive behavior.¹
Focusing on the positive behaviors that you want your child to repeat and rewarding them for their good behavior is also a great way to improve the parent-child relationship because your child’s self-esteem and confidence will grow due to your praise.
4. Spend Quality Time With Your Kids
It’s really important to spend quality time with your kids, and one on one quality time is especially important if you have multiple kids. The younger kids in the household tend to require more of a parent’s attention than an older child, which may leave your older child feeling unseen and unloved.
Make sure that you set aside alone time with each of your kids and do activities that your child individually loves and shows great interest in. This helps them to feel cared for, loved, and seen.
5. Encourage Positive Discipline And Structured Routines
If you’re a busy mom or a single mom you’ll know that school mornings can be a nightmare. Sometimes it can be hard to enforce positive discipline and structured routines but it is super important for your kids. Sticking with structured routines during crazy times like school mornings creates positive discipline and long-lasting benefits for your kids.
Sometimes it takes a little grit to be a good parent.
A clinical study in 2019 by Nature Human Behaviour found that having a good balance of parental authority, and enforcing things like regular family dinners were correlated to better offspring emotional wellbeing, a lower risk of destructive sexual behaviors, a lower risk of overeating disorders, and less depressive symptoms.²
A great parenting hack to remember is that sometimes being a great mom is putting your foot down and enforcing what you know is best for your child, and being the pillar of strength and safety that they can rely on for positive structure in their lives.
If you want some help in developing good habits and structure for your family then download my free habit tracker for support!
Conclusion
My last piece of parenting advice and the most important thing to remember is that you’re already a good parent! Trust in your parenting style and intuition. You’ve got this.
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