If you want to know how to deal with intrusive thoughts then this blog post is for you! Everyone deals with intrusive thoughts from time to time but during motherhood, this can be highly stressful for you, or even sometimes represent a developing risk to those you love.
In this article, we take a deeper look into intrusive thoughts in motherhood and how you can deal with them.
Moms With Intrusive Thoughts
New moms have a huge battle on their hands. Not only do you have to contend with being a first-time mother and all of the new experiences, joys, and stresses that it brings. But you may also experience intrusive thoughts.
A clinical research paper by Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapy notes that new mothers frequently and commonly experience intrusive thoughts and that it is a normal experience.¹ These postpartum thoughts may be of accidental or intentional harm and can result in compulsive behaviors. This particular study also found links between maternal sleep, exhaustion, fatigue, and negative mood in relation to intrusive thoughts and the response to them.
Another medical research paper by BMC Psychiatry reported that the majority of new mothers report experiencing unwanted, intrusive thoughts of accidental or intentional harm to their infant. The experience of intrusive thoughts is not only distressing to mothers, but it can also be distressing to other family members and caregivers. They also noted that maternal intrusive thoughts have been linked to OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) and depression, but that on initial basic research, they are not necessarily linked to an increased risk of harm because the thoughts are often not acted upon.
As a mother, intrusive thoughts can commonly extend to intentional or unintentional harm to your child. Intrusive thoughts can also relate to the self. For example, you may be experiencing thoughts that tell you that you aren’t a good mother, or that your child would be better off without you. Or you may experience intrusive thoughts that disempower you, isolate you, and lower your self-esteem.
If you are experiencing intrusive thoughts, whether that’s in relation to your child, or yourself, please don’t panic, and know that you are not alone. This is a normal and common experience.
Intrusive thoughts are a common symptom of postpartum depression, so you may benefit from treatment in relation to your intrusive thoughts. It is recommended to seek the guidance of your medical healthcare provider so that they can provide the correct support structure that you may need. Your medical healthcare provider will work with you to ensure that you have a treatment plan that suits you.
What Can Trigger Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts can be easily triggered by depression, bipolar disorder, stress, postpartum anxiety, and overwhelm. Depression, postpartum depression, and postpartum OCD (obsessive-compulsive disorder) are also often accompanied by intrusive thoughts.
What Are Some Examples Of Intrusive Thoughts?
Intrusive thoughts can arise differently for each mother. They might be totally new thoughts that you have never before experienced. Or you might find that your negative intrusive thoughts are related to previous insecurities or fears that you have.
Intrusive thoughts can include thinking about accidentally or intentionally hurting yourself or someone else, such as your child. They can include negative and disempowered self-talk or delusional thoughts. Or the desire for things to be in a certain way, such as symmetrical or orderly.
This is not an exhaustive list of intrusive thoughts, and you might find yourself experiencing something that has not been noted here.
How Do I Overcome Intrusive Thoughts?
Everyone deals with intrusive thoughts differently, so what works for someone else might not work for you so it’s important to try different techniques until you find something that clicks. You might also find that a certain technique works for a while, but then it starts becoming ineffective and you need to switch up the technique to something different.
The techniques you use to overcome your intrusive thoughts also depend on the severity of what you’re experiencing. It is recommended to reach out to your medical healthcare provider so they can guide you through what may suit you and certain treatments that may be available to you. But even if you are being tended to by your medical healthcare provider, you can also empower yourself by supporting your treatment with at-home techniques tailored to your own needs.
It is a good idea to let your friends and family know what is happening and what you are experiencing so that they can also support your treatment and at-home techniques too.
1. Therapy Or Certified Medical Attention
When you visit your local medical health provider they will assess your needs and the treatments suitable for you, this may include therapy, medication for mental illness, or CBT (cognitive behavioral therapy).
Although it’s common to experience disturbing thoughts as a new mother, it’s important to double-check that your intrusive thoughts aren’t symptoms of something possibly more serious such as a mental health condition, postpartum psychosis, postpartum OCD, or an anxiety disorder.
Therapy and counseling can be really helpful because being a new mom can be extremely overwhelming. Talking to a professional can help to put your mind at ease.
2. Awareness Techniques And Mindfulness Meditations
Awareness techniques and mindfulness meditations can really help to support you in overcoming intrusive thoughts. Having a heightened sense of self-awareness allows you to observe and notice when you are thinking intrusive thoughts which provides you the clarity to interject with a coping strategy such as affirmations, visualizations, or an activity that calms, soothes, and takes your mind away from your intrusive thoughts.
Journaling can be a great way to gain more clarity and awareness. Check out these journaling prompts for anxious moms for inspiration on journaling for wellness.
3. Support Groups Focused On Maternal Mental Health
Support groups that are focused on maternal mental health can help to provide you with an understanding community and support network.
Even if your general community, friends, and family are supportive, it can massively help to have a separate community to socialize with where you may feel less pressure to keep up a pretense of being OK.
Quite often we feel an unconscious pressure to look after our family and to be strong for them. This can prevent you from being really vulnerable and fully honest about how you feel and your intrusive thoughts.
Dedicated support groups for maternal mental health will also have a great network of specialists and treatments available to you. You’ll also be able to hear the experiences of other women and how they managed to or are managing to deal with any unwanted scary thoughts.
4. Visualization Techniques
Visualization techniques can help you to cope with postpartum intrusive thoughts by preoccupying your mind with desired thoughts. You can actually find a lot of really great guided meditations and visualizations on YouTube.
It can be great to save these into a dedicated playlist so that you always have the ones you like to hand when you really need them.
5. Affirmations And Mindset Techniques
Affirmations are a really powerful way to help you cope with unwanted intrusive thoughts because you can specifically counter the thoughts that don’t benefit you and that you don’t want.
For example, if you keep having the intrusive thought telling you that you are a ‘bad’ mother. You can counter this with an affirmation telling yourself that you are a good mom, and doing the best that you can for your baby.
Having a list of positive affirmations to hand really helps you when you’re in the moment and can’t think outside of your persistent negative thoughts or obsessive thinking. Check out my article on positive affirmations for moms for some ideas!
6. Focus On The Breath
Breath meditation is a really great way to calm down and can help if you’re experiencing severe anxiety or a panic attack. If you prefer guided meditations you can easily find a guided breathing meditation on YouTube.
Or if you feel more confident and comfortable with breathing meditations without guidance then come to a comfortable seated position with the spine straight, or lie down. Inhale and exhale, and focus on breathing fully, and deeply. Allow your mind to follow the breath as it enters and exits the body.
7. Take A Walk In Nature
Taking a walk in nature, or getting some good exercise can be a great way to take your mind away from intrusive thoughts. If you have your little one with you, then you can take a stroll in the park. Or if you have time alone, perhaps you can invest that time into your overall health and wellness whilst also using it to cope with any unwanted intrusive thoughts.
8. Do Something That You Find Wholesome And Calming
Is there something that you find particularly wholesome, calming, and enjoyable? Do you have any hobbies that you get absorbed into that put you into a flow state? This is also another form of meditation, a meditation of pleasure and self-care.
Perhaps you enjoy painting, dancing, singing, reading, cooking, or gardening. Whatever it is, you can use this to interject any disturbing thoughts that you’d rather not be having.
If you need some overall wellness tips, then check out my article on wellness tips for exhausted moms!
Conclusion
I hope you found this blog post, on how to deal with intrusive negative thoughts, helpful. Have you experienced intrusive negative thoughts as a new parent? If so, do you have any tips that aren’t in this blog? Let me know in the comments!
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